Some Answers

Some of you may already know this, but I’m a prophetic dreamer.

It is rare that I have a dream without a message behind it. These messages can be warnings, interpretations of (sub)conscious fears, messages for/from people, or reminders of someone and how to interact with them. It goes very deep–a gift I constantly thank God for. I keep a dream journal. The messages hidden in my dreams come so easily to decipher when I wake up, it’s another gift I’m grateful for. I am also a lucid dreamer. That gift is a hit-or-miss kind of blessing for me, lol. Imagine being completely immersed in a dream world, experiencing terror, fear, decision-making, sadness, and pain as if it were real life. I am not an observer in these dreams, but an active participant. I can remember smells from my dreams–thought processes, emotions, the feel of knife-wounds and terror. As I sit here at 4 AM, upright in bed on my laptop, I am remembering the details of last night’s dream. 

Setting: waterpark. A bit hunky-dory and chaotic. Almost like someone built the park in their backyard. It was a quality waterpark, but with so few rules, lots of junk art everywhere, and numerous sections with different themes and age groups. The waterpark was almost like a maze–something I’d never seen before. I was in a brand new city–the day before (in the dream, of course), I was exploring the city mall before going back to my hotel room. This was a trip of some sort, but there were tons of familiar faces. 

In the dream, I woke up that morning and travelled to the far side of town to get to this waterpark. I was alone. Upon arriving, there was what seemed to be a big community meeting in a giant tent just inside the waterpark entrance. There was a representative for each ‘group’ of water park attendees–they were apparently raffling off (or calling dibs) on different seating areas of the water park. There were sandy spots, grassy spots, and even some cement. They ranged from being close to the water or far away. There were a lot of discussions. A lot of negotiating. A lot of emotion. This was clearly some serious stuff taking place. The water park owner (actually embodied by the owner of the haunted house I worked in) seemed to be enjoying the controlled chaos–it was almost like an auction. 

Typically, a storyline like this evokes some sort of conflict: maybe I don’t have enough people in my party to claim a spot. Maybe someone is going to fight me for my desired spot in the water park. Whatever the case, I could feel it–that feeling when something could go wrong. That feeling when I knew I’d have to problem-solve. But it didn’t happen that way. In the dream, I remember thinking I wouldn’t mind where my spot is. I was there alone, and I was ready to simply have a good time. I had a very limited amount of items with me, so I knew I wouldn’t need a ton of room. I decided to lower my hand, stand up, leave the tent, and walk into the waterpark. There was no objection or conflict–it’s like I chose to avoid it to kickstart my day at the park. 

So I started canvassing the waterpark for a spot, notating the location of bathrooms and snack bars (as one should always do), and everything seemed to be going well. There was a moment I felt I’d gotten myself lost in the park, but as soon as I turned my head (right before panic was about to ensue), I recognized a landmark that put me back on track. I was making my way back to the spot I picked out for myself after seeing the extent of the park when I noticed a group of familiar faces walking in my direction. It was a variety of people, but they all had one thing in common: I was romantically involved with them in some fashion, dating back to high school lovers. Only one face stood out to me, of course, being my most recent ex. He approached me with a sad look on his face.

‘We need to talk,’ he said. 

“We do,” I replied.

I hadn’t spoken to him since he and my mom got into that argument (another major fictional event from another prophetic dream), and I went up in arms against my entire family for not supporting me with the intention of loving me. These things were fictional, of course, but I remember them so vividly. Their messages have already been deciphered, so it was interesting seeing that piece play a pivotal storyline role in a new dream. He and I started walking side-by-side. In the dream, I remember thinking that my mind was made up–I wanted to break up with him. I felt like we couldn’t be together, even more so after he and my mom argued the way they did. I thought my ex would also have a profound realization, since it felt like much time had passed since the event, but he immediately jumped back into defensive mode. 

“The fact your mom said (blah, blah, blah)...” he started.

To make sure I don’t lose you, dear reader, I’ll keep some details omitted. One dream at a time, haha. 

He was so clearly riled up. He hadn’t processed what happened at all, and though both parties were wrong, it’s like he couldn’t see his role in the altercation. He was pissed. 

I started to reply. I can’t remember exactly what I said, but I remember treading very lightly–like I knew he was still triggered and was a loose cannon. I barely completed my sentence when he started huffing and puffing away from me, walking ahead of me with an attitude while I was talking. I didn’t follow him. I yelled out, ‘You’re just gonna walk away from me when I’m trying to talk to you? This is what I mean! I have no energy left for you!’ He turned around to face me, his face a bit surprised. It’s almost like he expected me to run after him and have the conversation, or to coddle his feelings. But I didn’t. After my line, I turned in the opposite direction and went to sit on the beach. I was joined by a few friends. I didn’t see him or that group for the rest of the dream.

Honestly, the dream took a major shift at that point–like greater conflict could have been introduced, but it wasn’t. It went right back to a leisure dream. 

While I was enjoying the waterpark, there was a moment when I felt my items were stolen. And almost immediately after, I found everything in their designated bag, buried beneath the sand exactly where I left them. Another conflict avoided. Moments later, a big wave formed in the water, like a massive tidal wave coming toward us. People were running and panicking, and I felt that feeling again. It’s extremely common for my dreams to involve some sort of natural disaster. There’s always something I have to survive: an earthquake, a zombie apocalypse, a serial killer, I could go on. And like always, my first thought is about Zayna, even if she wasn’t in the dream at all before that point. So there I was, watching this tidal wave come in, and my eyes were darting around the area, looking at a life jacket stand just feet away. I tightened a strap around my waist to secure Zayna, knowing that my first mission was to survive impact and then locate my daughter. I quickly put my phone in a ziploc bag and tucked it into my bathing suit top. I was ready for whatever came next. 

But almost like pulling the TV plug out of its socket, the dream went completely black, and I woke up immediately. It wasn’t even a jolting wake-up, but a peaceful, eye-opening kind of wake-up. I wasn’t covered in sweat, and my heart wasn’t racing. 

This is unusual for me. My dreams are very intense, and I never wake up right before disaster strikes. I live through it for a while, waking up at pivotal moments of decision-making, usually covered in sweat and full of adrenaline. I have to ground myself upon waking up almost every time. 

As I wrote in my dream journal this morning, I recognized a pattern:

Every time conflict was about to be introduced, I decided to avoid it. Beyond the water park, even, there were parts of my dream that involved exploring the city where I averted a crisis by going back to my hotel room. There were so many set-ups for conflict, but I chose to navigate them differently. And that’s not always the case, either! Most times, conflict finds me in my dreams, and it took a learning curve to learn how to survive instead of falling victim to said conflict. I had to develop the skill of lucid dreaming. Now I’m clearly in a space where I can choose if conflict happens or not. 

This brings only one message to my mind and heart: rest. 

Lately, I’ve been called to rest. God told me I need to essentially hibernate for a season and focus on myself, like I need to focus on just living instead of surviving. Every time conflict popped up in my dream, big or small, it was handled and thwarted with grace and replaced by leisure. My life needs to mimic that as well.

Instead of falling into the many traps of conflict, high emotion, and anxiety, I can choose to let it ride. I can choose to ‘go back to my hotel room’ or ‘leave the tent’. I don’t have to be involved. I don’t have to be ruled by emotion. And there is nothing I need to survive. My purpose right now is to live. This makes the most sense to me, because 2025 put me through the wringer. Yes, I’m coming out stronger and more self-assured, but a chunk of me was damaged or lost in the process. I must regenerate and recoup. 

In my dreams, I chose to avoid conflict. But when the tidal wave came in (something I couldn’t necessarily avoid by a few lucid decisions), God decided to spare me by waking me up quickly and peacefully. This is deep to me–God is keeping me safe right now, and there are very real examples of that in both my real life and my dream life. I have no choice but to lean into that. It’s time for me to rest. I surrender it all: my anxiety about upcoming transitions. My anger and frustration with myself and my ex for the relationship and how it ended. Finances. Work-life balance. Parenting gaps and needs. These are all very real conflicts, yes, but Spirit is calling me to lay them to rest. They are not my fight anymore. They are no longer things to survive. I have to put it all in God’s hands, allowing him to pull the plug if necessary. I must allow him to wake me up.

This upcoming season is about picking my battles, if any, and retreating into solitude. I need to heal. I am humble enough to admit I don’t know even what that looks like, exactly. 

I don’t have all of the answers yet, but isn’t it beautiful that I have some?

Asé. 

Z